On the other hand, the elderly anyone do plan for the two so you can sleep-in one to house getting per night. After they see that nothing taken place on account of worry by the boy, the new more mature men, courtesy his brother, create plan out briefing instruction to tell the new boy just who the woman is indeed the guy is to no more forget regarding girls and you can women. Discover a familiar trust that women “bite” one of the young people, no one dares to say opposite opinions. Because of this belief, boys and girls don’t rush with the marriage and you may, as a result, they often get married during the chronilogical age of 30 or 35.
This new boy narrates so you can their buddy every emails of your girl he has loved and wish to out-of believe it or not than around three, comprising the young people, his uncle, and something relative yet not his moms and dads, check outs the new girl’s household to ensure that these two sides understand for each other well
Further, moms and dads and you may uncles ( eni mbumba ) (the master of the youngsters) are always desperate to possess the boy or girl get a hold of a good compatible wedding lover. Even though some ones means is actually shrinking, they still means part of the youth’s road to providing ong the Chewa.
Among Chewa , whenever a man suggests relationship to a girl, that isn’t how to see who likes you on romancetale without paying visible that they can marry instantly. There can be a procedure that comes to uncles, aunties, moms and dads, chiefs, or other important people in town. ” Despite becoming finding the person, the lady cannot say “yes” in the earliest offer regarding man. The man needs to validate their updates several times up until the girl nods toward suggestion. At this point, males throw in the towel considering brand new girl is not interested in all of them.
According to the Chewa people, it’s completely wrong to the girl to simply accept a married relationship proposal in the beginning experience of one. The girl must decelerate allowed so that this woman is seen since “strong,” perhaps not eager, perhaps not easy, and people dudes normally battle having.
Acknowledging the newest offer from the initially exposure to the person try a great indication of exhaustion on girl. It indicators the woman is “low priced.” Concurrently, in the event your man battles back again to win the new girl shortly after a slow down within the recognizing an offer, they indicators an effective relationship. it implies that the guy was resilient and strong enough. Then, they guarantees one to though it deal with pressures in-marriage, each other would be strong enough to deal with situations.
To start with, in the event that man fits the brand new girl, the guy claims, “ Chemwali ndakukondani, n’kadakonda ndithu n’takukwatirani,” definition “Lady, I adore your, and you can would love to marry you
This step is called “kufunsira mbeta,” definition matrimony proposition . If girl fundamentally welcomes, the person gives the girl chikole ( some thing real that woman otherwise one can show other people that the woman is interested). Prominent products put once the chikole were mikanda (jewelry) , content female usually used to link more their brains, or any other point something. Giving the lady chikole shows that the guy is actually intent on marrying new girl and inhibits brand new girl off getting reached because of the almost every other dudes to have matrimony proposals. Whenever a special man approache the lady, she reveals brand new chikole so you’re able to stop your out-of persisted his advances.
Given that girl welcomes new suggestion, she suggests the guy to tell her buddy about any of it. As previously mentioned prior to, one of many Chewa, the new sibling is regarded as mwini mbumba (holder of your own children regarding clan). When the people organizes to consult with the fresh brother of your girl, the guy does not go by yourself. Initially, he has got to tell their uncle about the girl he’s got recommended marriage so you can. When they arrived at new girl’s brother, her buddy will additionally not by yourself – he’s always registered by most other family relations of your own girl but not their particular mothers. And when new boy’s party comes, they practice conversations titled malonje (introductions and you may inviting comments).